|do i love you?
Created by: Lisa Gornick
If an aimless bike trip around London and the repetition of the
word lesbian five million times within the space of ninety minutes
is your idea of a good time then Do I Love You?
might just float your boat. Personally I'd rather be water tortured.
What gets me is the number of film festival curators who have
endlessly praised this film. Have our standards of what is "good"
in lesbian film really sunk so low? I believe lesbian film should
be held up to the same standard as any other type of film. I've
seen Hallmark movies of the week with more depth than this. Heck,
I've seen road runner cartoons with more depth than this. At least
Wil E Coyote has a point in life, somewhere to be, something to
From what I can gather, what Do I Love You?
seems to be asking us is, what is the meaning of lesbianism? What
is the meaning of the self? What is the meaning of furniture?
(No, seriously, who lives in these spartan, depressing flats anyway?)
Marina, our heroine, rides around London experiencing different
things - lovers, friends, road rage - with not a whisper of a
plot to be seen. I want to know why. I want to know what the conflict
is. I want to know so much about the characters and this film
offers so little. In the end I stopped caring and just wanted
Being a lesbian is the central point in the lives of the characters.
Being women-who-love-women. Being rug munchers. Being gay.
That's it. That's the sum total of their reason for existing.
The low point came when Marina and her gaggle of philosophically
minded friends sat around and discussed an article from the Guardian
about being a lesbian. It was up there with the ludicrous funeral
feminism 101 debate with Gloria Steinem from The
L Word season 2 finale. If we hadn't already gotten
the point that all these people are utterly self-absorbed, this
would have given it away. What could have been an interesting
moment of conflict (if, for heaven's sake, any of the characters
actually took an opposing viewpoint) turns into a session of intellectual
wanking for the camera.
Excuse my language but if I wanted to see wanking, intellectual
or otherwise, there's millions of perfectly good French films
out there to indulge in.
This great white hope of British lesbian filmmaking is nothing
but a big white elephant. I would encourage British lesbians to
stick to TV. UK television in my limited experience offers far
more variety and far greater quality of scripts, production values
and acting. As far as the individual characters are concerned,
I don't feel the need to single out any in particular for vitriol,
they were all as one dimensional as each other.
I do feel the need to say the word lesbian a few more
times to do the film justice. Lesbian lesbian lesbian. Are you
a lesbian? Why are you a lesbian? How do you feel lesbians are
represented? How is your sense of self affected by being a lesbian?
Did I mention the main characters were lesbians? It should be
pointed out that the fabulous All
Over Me did not once mention the word lesbian and
we were still able to get the idea.
No, this film is not the "witty, lesbian answer to Woody
Allen" film that various film festival websites have advertised
it to be. That film has already been made, it's called Kissing
Jessica Stein. This film is far from witty and so
terribly dull. There are no redeeming features. Thank your lucky
stars this film is so difficult to find, there's little or no
chance you will stumble upon it by accident. If you do have the
misfortune to find yourself watching it, ask yourself this: as
a lesbian or bisexual viewer, how are you being represented right
We have another contender for worst lesbian film ever.
Got a comment? Write to me at email@example.com