fastlane: strap on

1.11 / Original air date 17 January, 2003

Written: Kim Newton
Directed: Greg Yaitanes

If there was ever a lesbian episode meant to titillate the male audience (a perfect example of what Liz Friedman coined "Sweeps Lesbianism") it is this rather amusing episode of Fastlane, an expensive show that never quite made it out of the starting blocks before Fox pulled the plug. (Something that became an annoying habit over at Fox over the years actually.)

The only reason it even remotely works probably has something to do with the fact that the writers wisely kept it ambiguous whether or not the lead character Billie (Tiffani Thiessen) was bisexual. The makers of the show did drop a few hints that might have been explored more later, but the fact that this undercover assignment came so easily to Billie was a plus and it played as a sexy and fun piece of television for both men and women.

Each episode of Fastlane revolved around a single case where Billie, Van and Deaq, an elite undercover police squad, took on the rich and famous at their own game. The three cops used the tools and clothes of busted, rich criminals in order to mix and mingle in the glamorous criminal underworld.

In this episode they take on a couple of female house robbers who have inconveniently stolen $500K from Deaq's house that the unit was going to use to bribe and bust a corrupt witness and send a murderer to jail. Usually Van and Deaq would swing in and seduce the cash from under the women's unsuspecting noses, but this time there's a twist. The robbers are lesbians.

Cue Billie to save the day. She successfully manages to seduce one of the robbers and convinces the gang to pull off a job on Billie's made-up ex-husband who is supposedly screwing her over in their divorce. After they're busted, Sara (Jaime Pressley) is persuaded to give up the $500K in exchange for a deal.

The best parts of the episode are undoubtedly the seduction scenes. Billie works overtime, dragging Sara into a web of lies and gaining her trust. The two women have cool chemistry, better than most lesbian stunt episodes I've seen, and they seem to come together in a way that is believable, despite the obvious time constraints. They're not in love, but they could be one day, and Billie is genuinely sorry to have to betray Sara when the time comes.

Billie is the aggressor, the one who initiates almost all the sexual contact. Even when she isn't being watched by her target she shows no discomfort in the lesbian world, she brushes off another woman's advances with kindness not disgust, and never seems to have anything but respect for other women. For a show directed squarely at the action-oriented set, I was impressed.

It's flashy, it's sexy, it's designer bubblegum for the eyes for those people who sat through all the The Fast and the Furious movies and enjoyed them. It is even well written in places. But for all we're offered here, I think definitely catch it if it pops up in late night reruns, but don't break something trying to hunt this down if you missed it. Tiffani Thiessen is the best thing in this, all grown up from her 90210 and Saved By the Bell days and still looking for a project that suits her talents.

Wanna see some Fastlane action? The seduction scene in very loooow fi!