imagine me & you

Film, 2006, 3 stars

Written and Directed: Ol Parker

Bless its little cotton socks, this film doesn't have an original thought in its pretty little head, but it was gorgeous to look at. Or Piper Perabo and Lena Headey were gorgeous to look at. Especially Lena Headey. Whatever. I can understand why folks love this so much. Me, I'm torn.

This was the second lesbian outing (pun intended) for Perabo and the third for Headey, and it is a middling effort for both. They play Rachel and Luce, star-struck lovers who lock eyes across a crowded church at Rachel's wedding.

Sparks did undeniably fly in some scenes, but for the most part though, Imagine Me & You plays like every other nondescript RomCom of its type. Coincidences abound, each meeting meant to heighten the attraction of the lovers. Suddenly two people who have never met before are seeing each other everywhere. This is literally the popcorn-muncher it appears to be in the trailers. Working Title could have made this. Hugh Grant could have been in it, if his starting salary weren't bigger than the budget for the entire movie.

The problem was that every time I thought the movie was doing something mildly clever, it always reminded me of films that had done the same thing before, only just a little bit better. Rachel's parents (played by the ever-reliable Anthony Stewart Head and Celia Imrie) milked every joke in the embarrassing, bickering, stoic, British parent repertoire. Luce's mother fared slightly better playing the depressed-yet-loveable mother with the biting wit. It just felt too much like we'd seen it all before in straight films, so a gay version wasn't too much of an improvement.

For our heroine there are some rough emotional patches, but nothing that a good motivational parental speech couldn't fix in a heartbeat. Then it's off to chase down the love of her life. Sure, she was walking away from her marriage, but the tears were brief and our doomed hero Hec (played with wit and charm by Matthew Goode) was man enough to take it all in his stride and move aside. All the rough edges are smoothed away, providing a turbulence-free ride to the finish.

So here's where I'm mostly torn. The lack of "coming out" angst was refreshing, but it wasn't replaced with any kind of drama really at all, and all films need conflict, a reason for us to really care. The main problem Rachel faces is that her husband is a really decent bloke who doesn't deserve to have his wife fall in love with someone else, lesbian or not. It just isn't enough.

It's a positive sign that it is now possible to make seriously forgettable romantic mush about lesbians too. Hallelujah! I do love a good RomCom, and will rave about the good ones, but this needed that bit more of almost everything to even really succeed as fluffy romantic fantasy. Of course, one could argue that any lesbian film starring Piper Perabo not throwing herself from a roof in despair is in itself a step in the right direction, but unfortunately Lost and Delirious was a better film than this one.

I did laugh, sometimes real belly laughs. Luce's lesbian reveal is so profoundly funny it physically hurt. Not for a moment though was I tempted to cry, and good RomComs need both. I am, however, a total sucker for a happy ending, and historically-speaking the sight of two women joyfully running into each other's arms and kissing while the love song blares over the top is still rare enough to cause hearts to skip several beats.

I've been waiting my whole life for the quintessential, smart, funny lesbian RomCom. I wanted this to be it, I really did. Imagine Me & You is just... vanilla, and not at all challenging. I found it funnier the second time around, when I wasn't expecting anything more, so that says something. Maybe I'm just biding my time with this one, waiting for the real deal to come along.